✩•* a love no one could deny *•✩
02 June 2017 @ 08:30 pm
I am a huge fan of Supernatural. It is no secret; Misha was my favourite back in the Summer of 2O11, when I first got into it. Then, one scene has changed everything. Jared is my number one crush since close to six years now. I am truly, madly, deeply in love with him and his character of Sam Winchester. That is crazy. As far as I can remember, I wanted to meet Jared.

I kept dreaming it would eventually happen. Then, one chance occurred. My friend Barbara has offered me her second ticket so I could go to a Supernatural convention with her. His best-friend, Jensen, was going to be there, too. No offense to him, I like him, too, but I have gone to that convention to watch Jared.

There are so many things I wanted him to know. I wanted to tell him that I traveled all the way with a bus from my hometown to Montreal, Canada, to New York, for my first convention in 2O14. Then, one more hour from New York to New Jersey with a cab. It was also my very first trip to the United States, too. I was a bit nervous.

My biggest dream was about to come a reality, after three years of waiting that my time would come. I could not talk to him a lot, though, since the seconds run fast during the photo ops. His Represent campaigns have made me realize that I am not alone. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in October 2OO6 and with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in June 2O14. I made a video of my story and I have shared it on his Timeline.

So many things have happened since then. I was hospitalized for twenty-four hours at the end of July of 2O16. Now I am suffering from anxiety and from stress. To be honest, I worry a lot about him often. I want to thank him for caring, thank him for his hugs, for his controversies on Twitter, for his smile, thank him for his videos on Facebook, thank him for his words. He saved my life. When I met him for the first time, it was life changing.

I will always be his fan. When I discovered him for the first time, it was in the second episode of the seventh season, Hello Cruel World, when Sam was having his seizure in the ambulance. His acting took my breath away. He is such a good actor. It hurts me when haters tell him that he cannot act because they are so wrong about it. I want him to not believe what they say; I want him to believe more what the true Moose-Kateers tell him.

I got to meet him a second time in October of 2O15. I took the look he gave me so personal. I had the feeling that he recognized me from the previous convention the year before. I do not know anymore. I am trying my hardest, but I really cannot forget everything that has been said to me from the fandom and other places. I wish I was not questioning whoever anymore. He makes me incredibly happy! His hugs mean the world to me.

I feel like nobody deserves to be hurt so much I have felt from just loving him and supporting him. Nobody deserves to be crying for being his fan. Sure I have met some of my closest friends from being his fan, too. But I have been so sad about everything. I just do not know and it is the weirdest feeling. I loved him today. I will love him tomorrow, too. Every time I see him on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, my admiration for him grows.

I know that he is a father to two adorable boys and a cute princess and he is married to his soulmate. I mean no harm to them. I love them as much as I love him. He is just my favourite human being. We are now in 2O17. I am not going to meet him for the second year in a row. I do not give up. It will happen again. I got the biggest fangirl squeal when I have received the e-mail from Creation. I could not believe it. I was speechless.

They were announcing that Jared and Jensen are going to be in Montreal in April of 2O18 for a first convention in the city. I am very determined to go and to meet my crush again. I am so chipper because I never saw him this close before. I heard that he came in Montreal before. I do not care what anyone think about this. I love him way too much to let this chance go in smoke. And no one is going to stop me. Even not my own mother.
Bitchface: touched
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